Pop Culture Blog: Music, Movie and Humor

Leveraging low-hanging synergies outside the vertical fruit box since 1999.

Officially Annual: 365 Days Of Dave.


in Pye in the Face

I’m not going to be around a computer, or even resonably coherent enough, to mark the imminent and incredibly unlikely one-year anniversary this Saturday of that strange collection of vowels and consonants that is Pye In The Face. I started this site to learn about blogging as a marketing tool, and simply fell in love with the medium. It’s probably just thinly-veiled narcissism, but I’ve enjoyed entertaining my friends, old and new, for the past 365 days more than you can imagine. I’ve met many people, sparked a wealth of petty debate and spread around a font’s worth of useless knowledge that has hopefully made each and every one of you smile somewhere along the way.

In the past 12 months, 25,750 unique visitors have read my 436 ridiculous articles 78,932 times. I’ve been called an asshole, a pervert, a neo-con and a ‘beautiful man’ – albeit only 3 times in the same sentence. My only running theme is attempted humor, which makes the site a little hard to palate for the masses – but to be honest that’s the way I’d like to keep it. I can think of few things more appropriate than to now recap a few of my favorite moments that you may have missed the first time around. And the award goes to:

– Best unsupervised fight in the comment section.
– Most overtly nostalgic.
– Weakest attempt at keeping the blog apolitical.
– Best appearance on Comedy Central.
– Most meanspirited celebrity rip.
– Worst blog entry ever.
– Best Tall Tale.
– Best Quizzlet & Quotelet.
– Worst attempt at one-upping me.
– Best attempt at one-upping me.
– Best comment by a famous comedian.
– Most incoming links from other sites.
– My favorite Boston-related article.

I’ll leave it at that. For those of you who visit the site daily, it’s been a real pleasure. I’d like to invite you all to share your disgust, praise, favorite articles, etc. in the comments below – especially if you’re one of my loyal readers who never utters a peep. I know from my server logs that there are about 50 of you – who are you people, and what am I doing right?

Oh, and while we’re all here – this is the little belch that started it all.

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Montreal Smoked Meat/Dave.


in Heartwarming

Yep – I’m smoked. Headed to a bachelor party in Montreal early tomorrow morning with one of the craziest groups of guys I’ve crossed paths with since the definitive glory days of the Brampton Posse. Nate, Lance, Tombeno and I are all staying in an Executive Suite at the Godin, which is about as posh as it gets in Quebec. It’s also a little bit like putting a silk hat on a pig. I’ll be sure to get some photos of the room prior to there being an enormous streak of pink human honk across one of the walls.

If this is any indication, this weekend will border on the debaucherous. The emails that have been circulating between the LA crew and the Concord crew have been a network-administrator-with-a-grudge’s dream come true. We haven’t even left yet and I’ve already spent a small fortune. But I think that through a combination of pacing, penicillin and the buddy system – the four of us should get home in one piece. Or at least with all of the pieces in the same car.

Any photos that don’t include either the groom or myself tarred and feathered whilst being spanked with a trout by a midget that looks uncannily like Anna Nicole Smith will be posted in the gallery sometime next week. Until then, you’ll just have to open a window, stay completely silent and listen keenly for my muffled screams.

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Three Periods Of Peace. But Who Still Gives A Puck?


in

I’ve never opened Pye In The Face up to a guest writer before, but as the launch of my new joint-venture looms ever-imminent I thought I’d give you all a taste of what’s in store over at GoonBlog.com which launches July 31st. Detroit Velvet Smooth – take it away:

It appears that after a 300 day odyssey, the NHL and NHLPA have finally come to an agreement. The deal they are forging still needs to be approved, but they would be fools to turn this one down as any subsequent arrangement will not be as lucrative. As far as the players are concerned, this isn’t the deal they should have taken. No, the multi-millionaire club should have taken the deal that almost saved the season 5 months ago after Bettman’s initial cancellation. Surely you remember that most-magical ‘Glimmer-of-Hope’ weekend. I spent it constantly looking for hockey-related updates anywhere I could find them. And, of course, porn.

For the owners, this deal is exactly what they’ve been looking for – a salary cap tied to revenue, different arbitration rules and a chance to buy out crappy contracts that messed up the prior CBA. Mr. Holik – pack your bags. This summer will be like the Wild, Wild west on ice and without spurs. There are only 228 players currently under contract in the whole league. That means whatever your favorite team looked like before, it is probably going to end up radically different. The Crosby draft will be July 30th, so any team could wind up with the phenom, for example. The larger question is: does anyone still care? All I hear is about is the NHL is dead, and no one will be back. I call “shenanigans”.

The NHL will relaunch itself this summer. There will be new rules (a proposed ejection for anyone instigating a fight in the last 5 minutes of a game being among them,) new logos, a ton of new marketing and some groveling fan invites to bring us – the long suffering NHL fan – back to the rink. If I may go all Arnie on you for a second – I’ll be back. I will be the first to sign up for the Center Ice Package and the first in line for Opening Night tickets. So, come along for the ride with me. Check in at Goonblog starting July 31st for the latest enforcer happenings, and some general mucking it up in the corners. The NHL! It’s a whole new game.

Thanks for the contribution, Chris. Stay tuned, hockey fans – we drop the gloves July 31st.

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Can’t We All Just Eat Poutine?


in Consumables

Here’s a very timely photo I just got from my old friend Heather. I went to CCHS with her here in MA, but she has Canadian relatives with an insane island-bound cottage North of Sudbury Ontario you can only get to by boat. You can’t get much further North and probably shouldn’t unless you’re mining nickel. I figured I’d share, as it’s a nice, idealistic reflection on how I wish relations between the USA and Canada actually stood.

The Maple Leaf and Old Glory, proudly overlooking a sunset… and some sort of wounded woodland birdlet. Yanks and Canucks living together – mass hysteria. I wish the Liberal Moonbat segment of Canada, and the Right Wing Conservative faction of the USA, could be genetically melded into some semblance of a resonable and measured human being. If we need extra body parts for the effort, we’ll just use some Quebecers. And we also have a lot of very mouthy NHL players who could be put to better use right now. I dub thee effort “Hands Across The Great Lakes” and will remain steadfast in my resolve to not hold my breath for a second until things change.

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