There’s just so much reproducing going on these days. Next up, congrats to Allison and Mark for managing to create the all-new Silas Wade Hodgson! Uncle Mike is extremely proud and wanted to share the clan’s new bundle with the world/30 people who visit this site regularly. He’s a strapping young spud, but that shirt alone would have gotten him blogded.

Will Silas grow up to attend CCHS and then haunt the baseball diamonds there? Will he pursue a career in law enforcement? Will he dip his pacifier in Natty Lite and then disturb shit at every given opportunity? I can’t say for sure at this point, but I’m going to stick around and find out.

When I first met the Monster, he was only 23 and enjoyed reminding me that I was pushing 30. Old-timer and Grandpa were terms oft-used to describe me, and there were many jokes based around Depends. Well the big galoot turns 26 today, and I take extreme pleasure in welcoming him to the second half of his fleeting twenties.

Happy birthday big guy. You test my nerves at times but you’re a good friend. I’d offer to buy you a drink, but you’re probably already sucking down a bottle of Petron in an IHOP somewhere. We’ll meet up tonight for a few quiet ones, and I’ll do my best to keep you out of the clutches of the Salem police. But I’m not making any promises.

I am lucky enough to work in an office that walks a fine line between the formal and the informal. We have all the trappings of a strict corporate environment – dress code, office hours, vacation policy, bonus structure, etc. What we lack, thankfully, is a designated network administrator who spends all of their time filtering this and blocking that… Effectively ruining everyone’s extremely inappropriate workday fun.

I’m obviously kidding. The internet is a hostile Petri dish of wormies and crickets – perhaps even more bacterially volatile than Courtney Love’s last pap smear. We need vigilant network admins in larger environments – it’s just that here we’re all tech-savvy enough to know what sort of online activity is safe, and what’s tantamount to shooting your PC with a 12 gauge. I was also recently able to determine, through hours of research – once and for all, that Virtual Valerie is not a real person.

Still, there’s nothing quite like firing up Outlook on a Tuesday morning to unwittingly download photos of a lovely young woman who holds the record for the most consecutively employed marital aids. Honey – where do you go from here? Might I suggest a medicine ball or a SCUD missle?