Pop Culture Blog: Music, Movie and Humor

Leveraging low-hanging synergies outside the vertical fruit box since 1999.

An Arthur In Roma.


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My friend Art is on location in Rome, photographing hotels for a certain enormous travel website. He sends photos, a story – and the heebie jeebies.

“On my way to the castle this weekend, I got stuck in a one-horse-town going door to door begging everyone to let me use their phone so I could get a hold of the hotel and get them to send a driver for me. There were no taxis available out there on a Sunday, and I was still half an hour away from the hotel. I just about got back on the train and went straight to the airport to come back home.”

But Art, you’re not in Vancouver. You obviously didn’t go home. You got to the castle.

“Finally…about four hours late and 10lbs lighter from sweating my ass off. It was 36 f*cking degrees outside and my Italian sucks.”

Looks like an awesome castle though! Must have been beautiful, serene and a nice place to spend a week.

“I was the ONLY guest there, out of a hundred empty rooms”.

Sounds spooky. You didn’t like, cruise around on a Big Wheel, find yourself talking to a bespectacled bartender or run into ghostly little girls in the hallways, did you?

“I drank the mini bar dry in order to get drunk enough to ignore all the shadows moving around in my room and fall asleep.”

Don’t blame the undead. You would have done that anyway.

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Shallower Than A Puddle.


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I phoned up a really gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn’t believe it when she asked if I’d like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic.

“Wow!“, I said, “I don’t know if I could keep pace with you now! I’m a bit older, and a bit balder than when you last saw me!” She giggled and said she was sure I’d meet the challenge!

“Yeah“, I said, “just so long as you don’t mind a man with a waistband that’s a few inches wider these days!” She laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me, saying that she thought tubby bald men were cute!”Anyway“, she said, “I’ve put on a couple of pounds myself!”

So I told her to f*ck off.

Thanks to Taz for the submission.

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Documenting Debauchery: Masshole Luau.


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Saturday night some of Concord Carlisle’s most prestigious alumni joined forces with the good citizens of Watertown for one pissah of a Hawaiian luau, kid.

Half of these friggin’ kids were friggin’ rocked off of James’ friggin’ fruit punch. The other kids were gassin’ bottles of Twisted Tea like it was 90 degrees at Fenway in August, dude. And of course, there was a half-barrel of Bud Lite floatin’ in a friggin’ kiddy pool like Mary Jo Kopechne.

And… scene. OK, I’m finished channeling the ghost of Ricky from Revere and ready to discuss some of the evening’s festivities. First of all, let’s analyze the above photo. Is anyone else creeped out that Ryan (far left) looks like he’s about 12 years old? It looks like a Big Brother field trip gone horribly wrong. A NAMBLA initiation ceremony. I need a shower. Kate looks ravishing, as always. Brian looks like someone just slammed his schnutz in a car door. And we know full well that didn’t actually happen until Sunday morning.

JT and I throw the goat in protest of Nomar’s untimely trade to the Cubs. It was the topic of many emotional statements throughout the night. All of which ended with “kid” or “dude”, kid.

We were all lookin’ for something to do Saturday night, so it’s a damn good thing that Ricky on the far left there brought along two tickets to the gunshow! Last time I saw forearms like that, I was throwin friggin’ peanuts into the friggin’ gorilla cage at the zoo, dude. Pissah.

I need a weekend to get over last weekend.

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Dictionary For Women’s Personal Ads.


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40-ish………………………………………49

Adventurous…………….. Slept with everyone

Athletic……………………………….. No tits

Average looking……………….. Ugly

Beautiful……………………… Pathological liar

Contagious Smile……………… Does a lot of pills

Emotionally Secure…………………. On medication

Feminist…………………………………… Fat

Free spirit……………………………… Junkie

Friendship first…………………….. Former slut

Fun…………………………………… Annoying

New-Age………… Body hair in the wrong places

Old-fashioned……………………….. No BJs

Open-minded…………………………… Desperate

Outgoing…………………. Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate…………………………. Sloppy drunk

Professional……………………………… Bitch

Voluptuous…………………………….. Very Fat

Large frame…………………………… Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate…………………………. Stalker

Never, ever again.

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A Public Apology To Chris Cornett.


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It’s 6:14 and I should have already been at Chris’s Wiffleball Tournament out in Concord for about 4 hours. My cell phone went dead, and I’ve lost all my numbers. My ride never called me. My mother is sick. I needed clean drawers. There was a sale at Penny’s.

I did get a little (OK, a lot) banged up last night (see photo) but that is NOT why I missed the tourney. If I hoot with the owls, I crow with the roosters.

You know you’re banged up when: a.) You’re drinking Heineken (yuck). b.) You’re drinking it at Sissy K’s (yucker). c.) Uncle Fester tries to give you a handjob in the bathroom.

Sorry dude. I must admit – I suck sometimes.

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