Pop Culture Blog: Music, Movie and Humor

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I Can Die Now.


in Television

The only thing better than meeting Martin Short is having a photo taken with him in which you look like you’ve been struck in the head with a cricket bat that has several bricks nailed to it.

short-pye

I waited 34 years to get a photo with this man, and look at the result. I suppose it’s sorta fitting and funny. As JV put it – Martin short looks like he’s being accosted by a “drunk mountain”. I’ll write a full report on the evening when I get back home tomorrow. Dig on the SCTV Benefit of Laughter Gallery here!

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Big Ass Indy 4 Trailer Leaked Online


in Movies

The legal armies of Lucas may break down my door for posting this, but I am so pumped up for Indy 4 that I’m throwing caution to the wind. That’s what Indy would do. This trailer is a bootleg and judging from the plot points discussed and the “surprise” characters you can see and hear (Abner and Marion Ravenwood) I am assuming that it was not meant for release until at least after the film had been in theaters for a few days. The low-quality is also a testament to the fact that someone who works at a trailer editing house probably snuck this out after recording it on their cell phone while Spielberg was out for a fruit smoothie. If you want to be 100% surprised by absolutely everything surrounding the film – don’t watch it.

Video removed by Hollyood’s legal minions, but you can still read my notes:

  • This is the first time we’ve seen or heard Marion in any of the trailers. Karen Allen looks really frickin’ great.
  • The Mayans we’ve seen creeping around previously in defence of the Temple of the Crystal Skull aren’t a pocket of survivors untouched by civiliazation – they’re undead.
  • Ray Winstone’s Mac, basically a replacement for the late Denholm Elliot ‘s Marcus Brody, looks to provide some solid comic relief. “Put your hands down. You’re embarassing us.”
  • I knew Marion was along for the jungle adventure, but judging from the brief glimpse of Indy protecting a bearded John Hurt it looks like Abner’s in the thick of it too. I am thinking from his appearence, and another brief glimpse of a random guy in a cell, that perhaps the adventurers find Ravenwood locked up in South America somewhere. Either that or the Russians have him.
  • Is that Spalko jumping out of the tree like a jaguar near the end? Because that would be awesome.
  • I’m shocked that I’m not actually snickering at the thought of Shia as toughguy greaser Mutt Williams anymore.

Spielberg is definitely having a shit fit today because this has been leaked, and I feel for him because I know from all of my fanatical attention to info on this film that it is absolutely beloved to him. But I am happier in the knowledge that I can now say that without a doubt this movie looks seriously awesome. I couldn’t be happier about that.

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Squid Pro Quo


in Giant Squids

I know everyone is a little upset that it has been a long time since I’ve written anything about giant squids. More specifically, it’s been a long time since I’ve written anything about giant squids. Remember that big 1,000 pound bastard they caught in New Zealand a year or so ago? Well the world’s leading squidsperts have aligned their schedules, met up in NZ and have spent most of the last 36 hours thawing squidzilla out.

In addition to identifying the gender, weighing and dissecting the half ton corpse in the name of healthy science, several of those in attendance have been tasting it. “Surprisingly the smell is not bad at all,” one scientist said. “It smells a bit like a clean fish shop.” That’s one big piece of Calamari! I, and every other blog or news agency in the world just replied simultaneously. But I will go on to say: I’d like to find a lemon big enough to squeeze over that huge Calamari!, and who’s got a deep fryer big enough to cook it in?! So, yes – I win, and remain the premier source of Internet giant squid news.

Providing they save some of the beast for the rest of us to enjoy it will eventually be preserved in a formulin solution and placed in a tank for feature in a Te Papa museum. Many different people will learn a great many things from our friend in formaldehyde. I am taking my lesson to heart early – Don’t swim in the ocean.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWqbH—FX4[/youtube]

A Vancouver newspaper today reports new giant Humbolt squid activity which is threatening to devour all of the sea life on the West coast of Canada. The beak of the New Zealand giant squid is less than half the size of some that have been found in the bellies of sperm whales. In the wake of all the recent evidence there’s even a brand new classification being bandied around – Colossal squid.

After watching 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea for the first time when I was a kid, I wouldn’t go into the bathtub for a week afterwards. Not much has changed, although 25 years later I’m not watching Captain Nemo get mortally crushed by a tentacle on Betamax – I’m reading the newspaper. Several, newspapers. Some poor soul is gonna get killed by a giant squid this summer. That’s my prediction. I mean, on top of that I will die alone.

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Throw Me the Schwag! No Time to Argue!


in

I make a living through marketing. I am also an unapologetic Indiana Jones nerd. It stands to reason then, that I should pop a ‘short round’ over… Indiana Jones marketing. And that I will die alone.

  • Indiana Jones Burger King kids meal? Check.
  • Indiana Jones Pop Tarts? Check.
  • Indiana Jones Lego? Check.
  • Indiana Jones soda cans? You betcha.
  • Indiana Jones playing cards? Heck yes.
  • Indiana Jones birthday cake ‘boulderamas’? You know it.
  • Indiana Jones stickers? File under: ‘fuck, yes’.
  • Indiana Jones Lego? Duh.
  • Indiana Jones M&Ms? Matt Johnson needed a break.

indiana-jones-dr-pepper

It gets better before it gets better. Have a look at the running list at the brilliantly named ThrowMeTheIdol.com. There hasn’t been a movie tie-in blitz of this scale since I was… much, much younger. I love it.

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