My Mother just called me and they are already in Syracuse. They will be here at the house in Canada in about three hours – which is a lot earlier than I had anticipated. I have a hell of a lot of laundry and general cleaning up to do in that short period of time. A hell of a lot. I feel like I’m in high school again, scrambling to put the house back together after consecutive Friday and Saturday night benders while my folks were on vacation. Wish me luck, and I’ll see you tomorrow for a dandy of a quizzlet.
JV On Dogs
There are very few things JV isn’t an expert on. Just ask him if you don’t believe me. He left a great comment regarding my puppy training article that a lot of you won’t see unless you backtrack and sniff around, so I am going to repost it here as a main article. His advice is funny, blunt and accurate…
“Caesar (Dog Whisperer) is the man. Pretty simple message every show. A little common sense, a lot of exercise & dominance cures all. As a dude who goes to the city’s biggest yuppie dog park and watches many a disobedient dog/stupid handler I suggest 2 commands must be taught in order for you to not be an idiot yuppie dog owner:
1-COME, If your dog doesn’t come 100% of the time when you call it you’re an idiot. Shep should also respond to a whistle command to come or at least get a bearing on you. fastest way to train this command? Find a dog treat they luv and never give it to them – ever – unless they are properly executing the command. Dogs should only be rewarded with things they want (treats, effection) when they are doing what they’re supposed to. Only idiots give there young dogs rewards for being cute or soiling your home… at least during their prime training months.
2-NO, If you can’t get your dog to immediately stop whatever its doing, freeze in its tracks and look back at you waiting for the green light you’re an idiot.
I say “you’re an idiot†because the dog obviously only knows what you teach it and without these 2 commands hard wired there’s a good chance it will do something stupid i.e. somehow put itself in harms way… which is your fault. The next commands for non-idiot dog handlers are sit, down, stay, heel and lick the peanut butter off my…
If you can get your dog to walk beside or behind you and mirror your movements off-leash you will be a dog master. Nothing is more gratifying than having your dog listen to you because as you eventually marry and have kids the dog will eventually be the only one listening to you.”
Veekend Video: No Country for Croaky Frog
Just in time for the Oscars I am very proud to release my latest puppy masterpiece, No Country for Croaky Frog. You’ll watch with glee as Jim Morrison, Will Ferrell and the Coen Brothers are all whimsically exploited for my own personal amusement. Or not.
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWRIPTVWrIo[/youtube]
Oscar Predictions – There Will be Coens
The Oscars have been thoroughly uninteresting to me for many years and I haven’t watched the ceremony in as long as I can remember. Tonight is a different story as it has been a monumental year for the movies and for once, I’m very much looking forward to watching. Here are my personal predictions…
Best Picture: No Country for Old Men – I preferred There Will Be Blood, but the handwriting is on the wall for this one. The Academy is going to vote for the Coens. Right
Best Actor: Daniel Day Lewis – Absolutely incredible performance, and having to choose between Daniel and Viggo just isn’t fair. Bad timing, Mr. Mortgensen – but excellent job. If anyone either than these two go home with the little gold man it will be a huge miscarriage. Right
Best Actress: Julie Christie is going to win and deserves to, but Cate Blanchett was superb as well. I think it’s amazing that Ellen Page, a Canadian underdog who started her career as Mr. Lahey’s daughter on the Trailer Park Boys, has had the year she’s had – but alzheimer’s is going to trump teen sarcasm. She’s got lots of time. Wrong
Supporting Actor: This is the category I am least certain of, but my money is on Javier Bardem. I was very impressed by Casey Affleck but I think he’s going to have trouble getting past the Coen juggernaut this year. Right
Supporting Actress: I haven’t seen the Bob Dylan movie, but I predict Blanchett will take the Oscar she didn’t get for Best Actress here. The Academy is comprised of human beings ticking boxes, and sentimentality is how people win the award sometimes. Wrong
Best Director: Paul Thomas Anderson – There is a damn good reason Mr. Anderson has been nominated 5 times previously, and I think this is going to be his year. His work on TWBB still gives me shivers after 3 viewings and the universe he’s created is the best we saw last year. Wrong – Travesty
They’ll definitely throw Juno a bone for original screenplay (Right), and the Bourne Ultimatum will clean up in the sound and visual editing categories (Right). Visual effects will go to Transformers (Wrong), and makeup will be Norbit (Wrong). I love the fact that Norbit is going to win an Oscar tonight. And as far as documentaries go, I don’t think Michael Moore is going to win (Right) as much as I hope forms a Nevada LLC and is then decapitated in a car accident on the way there. Happy viewing! Go Daniel!
Puppy Updates and Pictures
Are you sick of hearing me talk about my wee pups yet? If so, I can hardly blame you. I swear I will stop as soon as I get about $500 in PetSmart gift cards in the mail. As that isn’t going to happen, you’ll have to humor me. I’ll keep it short.
There’s a couple of new galleries live if you’d like to look in on Winter in Portland or my most recent puppy pics. They are growing like weeds, picking up a good portion of what I’m trying to teach them, as I pick up good portions of doodie, and I cannot wait until it gets warmer so I can take them outside more frequently. Boston Terriers have such thin coats that I can only take them out once or twice a day for very short periods of time. That’s it for me this evening. Stay tuned for a quizzlet tomorrow and a healthy dose of home pup videos over the weekend.