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Friday’s Quizzlet: Keep it Clean, Dean


in Friday's Quizzlet

Appetizer: Invent a new flower; give it a name and describe it.
The flower’s name would be Robaxibloom, and it would have magical back pain healing properties. I have been bed-ridden for most of this week, hence my lack of posts. About two hours after cleaning the garage on Sunday I developed an ache that has just gotten worse ever since and I think I’m going to have to hit the local ER soon if it doesn’t fade. It’s insane… and far worse than the pain from my official football back injury 16 years ago that kept me from playing for Wilfred Laurier/tying my own shoes for a month.

Soup: Name someone whom you think has a wonderful voice.
For singing and speaking my all time favorite is Dean martin. I have been honing a Dino impression for several years now and as a result have been paying a lot of attention to the little nuances. It’s like warm olive oil being poured over vanilla ice cream. And it sounds far better than it tastes.

Salad: On a scale of 1 to 10 how clean do you keep your car?
Inside, 9.5. Outside a 6 in the winter and a 9 in the summer. I keep it very clean as it’s the first decent car I’ve ever owned and I’d like to keep it looking pristine for as long as I have it. Plus, DNA evidence can really come back to haunt you.

Main Course: How do you feel about poetry?
Classic poetry, like the kind I had to read reams of in University, is wonderful stuff. Slam poetry is, in a word, retarded. I’d rather listen to Marc Smith writhing around in pain on a microphoned sheet of wax paper with a car battery attached to his nipples. Or Pearl Jam.

Dessert: What was the last person/place/thing you took a picture of?
My puppies, of course. They are very photogenic and I’m not going to force them upon my readers yet again. But, if you must know, they went to the vet this morning for their last immunization shot and are now allowed to visit dog parks, come with us into town, etc. They averaged about 12 pounds each and are nearly halfway to their full size and doghood. They met a beagle at the office today and seemed to really socialize well. I think we’ve got a pair of healthy, reasonably well adjusted pups on our hands. So far so good. Can you tell how much pain I am in by reading this dry white toast of a post? Must… get… horizontal…

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Wednesday Wadio: The Breeders ‘Safari’


in Musical, Wednesday Wadio

In between their 1989 debut Pod and 1993’s uber-successful Last Splash the Breeders quietly released the lovely Safari EP. I remember my sister bought the CD single and along with the title track there was a Who cover, the pretty “Do you Love me Now?” and my favorite – the very dark “Don’t Call Home“. One of the best short plays I’ve ever heard in terms of the quality of both the singles and the b-sides. Until someone asks me to stop, or I’m led away in shackles, I am going to offer up MP3s of Wadio subjects from here on out. They are often very difficult to find or unavailable on iTunes or Amazon. For your listening pleasure, and I mean that, here is Safari for y’all to right click and download. Send flowers and money.

I thought of the band last night when I read that they had a new album, Mountain Battles, coming out in a week and decided to make them the subject of this week’s Wadio. As I searched for an accompanying video I discovered, unbeknownst to me, that they’d actually made a video for Safari, and here it is…

It reminds me of one of Black Sabbath’s vids and that was probably the whole point. The band plays in front of a primitive green screen backdrop with literal translations of the lyrics flashing past. Gorillas, hippos, palm trees – but what is the song really talking about? Lion-peeping? Originally it could have been easily explained as one of Toni Iommi’s hallucinations. Please allow an explication attempt, and there isn’t a lot to work with:

He didn’t cry on a safari
In over his knees
He couldn’t leave a finer life
Always hugging the ground
And crying out for me
He didn’t cry on a safari
In over his knees
He couldn’t leave the flock, he couldn’t leave
always hugging the man
and crying out for me

I’ve got very little. He didn’t cry yet he’s crying out. He couldn’t leave the finer life, yet there he is on the Safari. Did he even go in the first place? Maybe next time take Kim Deal to Africa with you, buddy. I know I would. Also, is a safari the best thing do right after a tough breakup? Probably not. Do what everyone else does – save some money, get drunk on Schlitz and then call her at 2 in the morning. If nothing else I’ve learned that when singing along in the future I needn’t enthusiastically include the F-word. He simply couldn’t leave the “flock”. My Breeders bad.

I was hoping that after the Pixies reunion of 2004/2005 we’d see the Breeders resurrected as well. The new album will be their first in 6 years and will also mark their 20th anniversary. Kim and Kelley Deal (OK – Kim) turned this spinoff into a once hugely successful band. ‘Cannonball‘ proved more popular a single than anything the Pixes or Frank Black ever released. I still hear it nearly every time I leave the house. I hope that Mountain Battles fares well and earns Kim some new fans while pleasing those existing. As the ‘first lady’ of alt-rock there are high expectations. I must say – I already love the title. Is it going to be a Hatfield / McCoy concept album wrought with banjos? Will they change their name to The Inbreeders? I live in hope.

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Wednesday Wadio: Black Francis’ “I Sent Away”


in Wednesday Wadio

“Svn Fngrs, seven songs, seven moments of brilliance. The true return of PixieFrank that the last album promised to be.” – Brian Johnston.svn-fngrs

No, thank you – I didn’t mean to type “Frank Black”. Black Francis, Charles Thompson’s pre-Frank persona from the Pixies is back. Back, black and most certainly bitchin’. His new EP is called SVN FNGRS and I literally cannot stop playing it. I’m going to start forwarding Mr. Thompson all of the speeding tickets I’m liable to amass during my fixation with his latest master work – as they’re sure to be most numerable.

“He seems to have effortlessly spat out a really hip, really funky collection of tracks that, while only loosely adhering to the notion of a coherent album, forge an instant connection and then hang around to develop a lasting friendship. It’s hard to stay mad at you, Black Francis.” – Tom Slater

The session which spawned this surprise gem of a mini-LP was supposed to see Charles recording a couple of B-Sides for another record already in the can. Ever the prolific songwriter, 7 songs ended up on the tapes and Cooking Vinyl thankfully decided the 6-day effort was worthy of it’s own release.

“He’s a quirky genius with a distinctive style, and Svn Fngrs is a glimpse into the sideshow circus of his mind – simultaneously fun and disturbing, and as compelling as a couple arguing about their sex-lives in a crowded restaurant.” – Paul Raven

I was pleased to discover an official video for the lead single, I Sent Away, readily available on YouTube and here it is for your enjoyment. I am far more excited about Garbage Heap and The Seus but this song is still solid and comprehensively the EP makes me very happy. I’m sure my favorite song will change back and forth SVN times before my infatuation phase is over.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugFvzM0FGz8[/youtube]

I absolutely love the speedy three chord progression that kicks off right away on I Sent Away and the harmonica at the end is just as grimy and wonderful. Edited and fimed by his wife the video is lively and manic – a far cry from Frank Black’s countryish albums of the last 4 years and more akin to the recent BlueFinger. But what really makes this release that of Black Francis as opposed to his alter-ego Mr. Black? It’s a little grittier, a little screamier, a little more Boston 1986 than Memphis 2002. A little bit of SlimFast and a dab of eyeliner. It’s a startling mid-career reinvention for the kidlings but a welcome return to form for the thirty-somethings. Thanks, Blackie F – and I hope you’ve sent a copy of this to Joey, Kim and David. It might get them thinking.

Earth-Shattering Update:

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLoVaVOLX2A[/youtube]

Live version of Garbage Heap.

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The Benefit of Laughter – SCTV Reunion


in Canadiana, Television

As my Cadbury Cream Egg hangover slowly wore off this morning I remembered a little news item I’ve been saving for the right moment. Perhaps I’ve just been hesitant as I thought talking about it might jinx this historic and amazing event in some cosmically unfortunate manner. Because it’s literally amazing in a ‘pull your balls out on the subway and sing Happy Days are Here Again’ sort of way. Here’s the rub: My wonderful sister got wind of an SCTV Reunion a couple of weeks ago, and before even telling me about it she’d procured two tickets to the event May 5th at their 51 Mercer Street location in Toronto.

sctv-reunion

“I am thrilled to have this wonderful collection of Second City alums come home and support their colleagues and friends who may be experiencing some difficulties in their life.” – Andrew Alexander – Proprietor/Executive Producer

My inside (literally) source, whom I shall refer to as “magic 8 ball”, tells me that the charity event is to help Tony Rosato with his treatment and/or legal bills – it’s no secret that he is currently incarcerated at a mental hospital in Ontario. Although I’m sure he isn’t the only alumnus to fall on hard times, he’s certainly the most well known having been an original member of the SCTV troupe, and he also spent 2 seasons (1980 & 81) on Saturday Night Live as a writer and performer. Here he is performing a skit with Robin Duke in 1979 – who can forget Crazy Crafts with Molly Earl ?

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdBec1pYM5k[/youtube]

Tony is and was a very funny man and for a while Lorne Michaels had very high, Belushi-esque, hopes for him. He apparently suffers from Capgras Syndrome which is a delusional belief that a friend or loved one’s body has been taken over by an imposter, Invasion of the Bodysnatchers style. It’s no joke, I wish him all the best and although I’m quite certain there are many who’d be happy to take my place now that the event is sold out – I’m very happy to be able to contribute to his cause. Here’s Tony with Eugene Levy doing Abbott and Costello, also from the early series #3.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JNS19XBjBQ[/youtube]

As if simply being at an SCTV Reunion wasn’t enough, I was further gob smacked to learn that my dear old Sis sprung for the top tier tickets which get us into a private cocktail reception with the cast. So we’ll be having drinks and hobnobbing with the likes of Martin Short, Eugene Levy, Joe Flahrety, Dave Thomas, Catherine O’Hara and Andrea Martin. Colin Mochrie will also be performing and I imagine lots of other Canadian Comedians will be on hand to support the cause. Will I finally get to meet Aykroyd? Will Marty do Jackie Rogers Jr. for me? Will I be escorted out while howling loudly like Count Floyd? All signs point to “yes“.

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Monday’s Quotelet: Beelzebunny


in

easter-bunny-from-hell
An external consultant finally figured out why attendance at the Mall’s Easter display was down for the third year in a row. You guessed it – stale Peeps.

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Do You Kids Remember the GoonBlog?


in Sporty

It’s Friday, Janet and I actually have plans that involve other human beings our age who aren’t also related to us, and life is generally good. To top things off, I finished an article last night that left me feeling as though I’d just enjoyed the benefits of 17 consecutive Metamucil milkshakes. To put it a different way, I finished an article for a client that nearly killed me. But it’s done, it’s good, and I want to share.

GoonLogo175

The article version is up on GoonBlog.com – you remember the GB, right? It’s the hockey blog I maintain with my old friends from Concord – Killer and Detroit Velvet Smooth. If you’d like to see a top 10 list of the best NCAA Buzzer Beaters from the last sixty some odd years, have a look. Tis the season to go to a sports bar, eat two pounds of wings, order a bucket of Budweisers and get yourself thrown out for yelling obsceneties at people in the establishment who are rooting for Duke, after all.

If you use Digg, Stumble Upon, Mixx, Propeller or any of the other myriad of social media and voting sites – please give the article some love. You can even quickly send it out as a MySpace bulletin or Facebook post as I have added links to both options as a drop down at the end of the article. Bless your hearts and may the Easter Bunny bring you several Cadbury Cream Eggs – of which I know I’m not the only fan. I may, however, be the only fan who likes to crack them open with his mouth and then let the sugary schmeg drip down his chin and onto his chest. Inside voice, Dave.

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Wednesday Wadio: Big Dipper’s “Faith Healer”


in Boston, Musical, Wednesday Wadio

About 5 years ago, WFNX polled the city of Boston and asked them what their favorite home cooked Beantown rock song was. Now that is a tough question (italics used for dramatic effect), but the people rose to the occasion and voted “All Going Out Together” by Big Dipper as their undisputed #1. Think about that for a second, because Boston’s bred indy bands like the Pixies, Throwing Muses, Mission of Burma, etc. and being chosen as the top song EVAH is testament to the band’s legacy within the town of beans. My friends and I have been listening to the Dipper since high school, we know some of them personally and one of us is even acting as a roadie at their reunion show at the Middle East on April 26th. I’m playing with the idea of flying down for this as I’d most certainly be backstage and most certainly be the happiest kid on the planet and possibly even the Milky Way.

big-dipper-boston

I’ve seen a lot of bands play at the Middle East over the years – Breeders, The The, Jonathan Richman, Grooveasaurus, Gord Downie, Luna – and it’s a wonderful location to see a show. It was an even better location when my friend Adam worked the bar there and used to slide me Harpoons and get me gooned just for showing up. My point is, what a great choice for the Big Dipper Reunion. I like the Paradise and everything, where it was first rumored to be happening, but my preference is that slice of Heaven in Central Square. And not (there’s that emphasis again) spending an hour on the Green Line to the wilderness of BU and Comm Ave.

There’s a band of questionable repute called Built to Spill who released a popular song called “Big Dipper” a few years back, and boy do I ever wish they’d chosen a different name for the tune. It’s all you ever see online when running searches for my beloved Boston band. I did manage to find one proper video, for “Faith Healer“, and two live clips from a show at the Ritz in New York City circa 1987 – “Younger Bums” and “Lunar Module” which are both off the same album as “All Going Out…” so we’ll go with those.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jS3WsiNCBpY&feature=related[/youtube]

If you remotely enjoyed the video then check out the MP3 for the vastly superior ditty She’s Fetching (hosted by Merge Records and fully downloadable by right-clicking) which is definitely in my Dipper top 3. She’s also got the skankiest little guitar riff you’ve ever heard. “Fetching” is still part of my vocabulary today as a direct result of listening to this song on the Sony Sport boombox I had plugged into the cigarette lighter in my ’78 Chevy Malibu station wagon driving around Concord at 16 years of age. Blaupunkt eat your heart out.

Their catalog has been unreleased and heavily sought after for years, but Heavens, Boo Boo, Craps and are finally being re-released. They are also heavily promoting the 48 track greatest hits/anthology, Supercluster, via a MySpace profile and other online viral means. I was happy to see my very favorite Dipper song, Ron Klaus Wrecked his House, available to add to your profile and I have just done so. Click here to grab Supercluster: The Big Dipper Anthology from Amazon.

I have also uploaded the MP3 to my server as a special gift for you today – and I implore you to download it and see what you think. It’s a great song with gritty indy guitars, crashing drums, a complex baseline and a vocal harmony which is probably still hurts Gary Waleik’s throat 20 years on. If the style and theme of this song doesn’t remind you of college while also impressing you with its catchiness, then you probably never went to college. Or graduated high school, for that matter. For the love of God and all that is holy, listen to your old pal Dave, get your GED and do yourself a favor: Ron Klaus Wrecked his House. Glad to have you back, boys.

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Tuesday Tasties: Dave’s Greek Extravaganza


in Tuesday Tasties

As we divvy up duties around the house, I’ve offered to retain my summer Tuesday slot for cooking dinner. One night a week isn’t going to get me past St. Peter, but Janet enjoys cooking immensely and my mother can pick up the slack one or two nights a week. Plus, if I’m only assigned the one night I’m far less likely to simply throw frozen Pogos in the oven. I might actually try do do something special for my brood.

Why not make it a regular feature here on PITF, methinks? I’m not afraid to cook, which I believe is the first big step. Once you get over a general fear of fire or belief that you’re just incapable – it’s really very fun. It doesn’t always turn out as you’d hoped, but several summers of my youth spent working in kitchens has left me fearless and in possession of a reasonable skill base – so I’m going to have a good time with it, make the family happy and expand my limited repertoire at the same time. That’s how it reads on paper, anyway.

I’ll get an idea, I’ll search for the easiest best recipe I can find online and then I’ll just feckin’ give ‘er. Kind of like Jamie Oliver without all of the positive outlook on life.

As I venture into this new hobby-realm-pursuit, I’ll bring you right along with me via recipes I use, photos and maybe even the odd video. We’re debuting with a Greek Extravaganza because I just peeked inside the fridge and there’s a whack of lambchops thawed and ready to roll. I also noticed a tub of Costco feta and even a big tub of Tzatziki hanging around in there. I will be attempting the following:

The recipes I’m using are linked above if applicable, and I’ll be back to update you on the carnage later this evening. I have to marinate the chops for two hours so I’d best get a move on as it’s 4:30 and I don’t want any TV remotes thrown at my head this evening.

IMG 1624

It’s now 9:30 in the pm and I’m happy to report that the meal went very well. Comments included “Wow, I’m impressed,” and even “This lamb is cooked perfectly“. For the loin chops I diced garlic and threw it in a big bowl with red wine, balsamic, olive oil, salt, pepper and oregano, tossed the chops and then put them and the rest of the tasty sludge into a Ziploc and they then marinated in the fridge for 3 hours. My handy T-Fal indoor grill was red hot when I threw them on, 5 minutes a side, and then flashed them in the oven for 2 minutes so that the feta cheese and diced Kalamaata I added after the second grill flip would melt and bind to the top.

The roast potatoes were sliced lengthwise into quarters, tossed in a mixture of lemon juice, salt, pepper olive oil, oregano and water before being baked for an hour on a deep broiler pan. 480 until the water boiled and then down to 350 for the rest of the time. They were tender and tasted almost exactly like the roast spuds you get at Greek restaurants. Tasty, buddy.

The salad was… a Greek salad. It was quite green. Nothing startling to report there. To round out the culinary delight about to befall my family I grilled a piece of flatbread in garlic butter, sliced it into narrow triangles and placed three on each plate with a nice dollop of store bought Tzatziki on top. The final ensemble looked something like this…

IMG 1628

Highlights

  • When the smoke cleared, it was a very tasty dish, reasonably authentic with fresh ingredients and it pleased the crowd.
  • The indoor grill continues to amaze me. It also has a griddle plate you can swap out which makes great grilled cheese and pancakes. Albeit rarely together.
  • Greek food isn’t as hard to prepare as I thought it was. Lamb is a drop in the bucket, but that fear wall has been broken down and I’ll now be able to tackle something really tricky, like Mousakka.
  • Because I needed red wine for the marinade it gave me an excuse to open some on a Tuesday night.

Lowlights

  • From prep to cooking to cleanup this project took me over 3 hours. That’s three hours for a meal that was finished in about 20 minutes. Yes, I enjoyed it but I certainly wouldn’t want to do this more than once a week.
  • The potatoes weren’t overcooked but stuck to the bottom of the pan and had to be carefully removed to keep them intact. I should have turned them more often.
  • The little lamb loinlet thingys were very small and I’d like to try this with a proper chop next time around.

The mouthwatering lambchop photos are up for all to see, and again the recipes are linked further up the page. If you’ve ever tried to prepare this, or a similar, tasty treat please leave any additions or advice in the comments. And if you’ll excuse me I’m sure there are still 15 plates left to clean somewhere in this house.

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A Longing Nod to the Auld Sod


in

To be in Boston on St. Patrick’s Day would have been very nice indeed. As it stands, I’m in Portland Ontario with narry a beer in the house. Times change, quite often for the better. The novelty of working the door at Tiernan’s would have worn off after an hour, and I certainly won’t miss the hangover stemming from staff drinks until 7am tomorrow. So what’s a part-Mick apart from civilization to do on this holiest of days? Here’s how I rolled.

  • Put shamrock dog collar covers on Shep and Rhuby. I know that sounds sad, but you have to believe me when I tell you we had them handy.
  • Listen to the oldest Pogues record I have, Red Roses for Me, several times during the course of the day.
  • Re-read my St. Paddy’s Day post from back in 2005 which still makes me giggle.
  • Planning to watch State of Grace tonight.
  • Hitting Kingston on Friday, which has quite the Irish population, for a “better late than never” two-fisted liquorfest. Do they ever play McGowan at The Merchant?
  • Will base today’s quotelet solely on McGowan’s teeth.
  • Watched the videos I took at the Pogues show in Boston in 2006. Dig my singing:

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30Mmi5WLwf4[/youtube]

There, that feels a little better already. Get yourselves liquored up and tight, start a fight over a perceived slight and listen to Dirty Old Town late into the night. Sláinte.

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The Official Crystal Skull Poster is Released


in Movies, Nerdery

The official and just-released poster for this summer’s Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull follows the old-school painting style of movie marketing that was so prevalent in the 80s but has since dwindled out in favor of brash graphics, digital photography and Kiera Knightly’s side-boob. This poster could easily be hanging over the drive-in snack bar beside that of The Empire Strikes Back. Well done to Paramount and the filmmakers for staying true to the style of the first three films, yet again.

crystal-skull-official-poster
And don’t forget to visit my Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Squidoo lens where I’ve aggregated all of the best RSS feeds related to Indy 4 news in one easy to read location. May 22nd draws ever closer, and perhaps I’ll once again be permitted to kiss a girl on the 23rd!

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Friday’s Quizzlet: We Have a Piper Down


in Friday's Quizzlet, Movies, Musical

Appetizer: On a scale of 1-10 how much do you like your own handwriting?
The only time I write in script / cursive is when I’m signing my name. The rest of the time I write in this all caps printing style and I really don’t know where it came from or when it started. It’s almost graffiti-esque and I can’t say I’m too proud of it. I’ve always held pens in a funny way which cramps up and eventually begins to hurt my hand after too long. As a result, in grade school they gave me a triangular rubber pad to pull over my pencil. Why did that just turn me on a little bit?

Soup: Do you prefer baths or showers?
I don’t think I’ve had a bath in about 20 years. Unless we’re talking about a more naughty sort of bath for naughty bath purposes. For daily maintenance I’m a shower person all the way. This came up just last night, actually. The lake house has 3 bathrooms, 2 showers and no bathtubs. Janet is beside herself and I think one of the summer projects for 2008 will be putting one in if she has anything to say about it. Or wants to pay for it. I still have a lot of work left to do on the Winchester, and the only bath-type-thingy I’m interested in installing is a hot tub on the back deck. Oh yes… Jim and I are already talking about the schematics. That came out wrong.

Salad: What was the last bad movie you watched?
You know me – “bad movie” is a very relative term. Do you mean a guilty pleasure that is admittedly bad yet I still enjoy it immensely? Or a flick I simply can’t get behind no matter how hard I might try? Jason, Amy and Marj are coming up this weekend, so I’ve been waiting till then to watch my newly acquired copy of Semi-Pro. It’s no Citizen Kane but I’m sure I’ll lap it up. For the other side of the coin I’ll mention Altered States. I love William Hurt and I picked this DVD up in the bargain bin at a local supermarket recently for $4.99. It wasn’t half as good as I remember it but I think that’s more accurately categorized as a bad movie that I actually concede is a bad movie.

Main Course: Name something you are addicted to. How does it affect your life?
I think this is probably a fairly popular answer, especially among people like me who are obviously in deep denial, but the only thing I think I’m truly addicted to is music. And it affects my life in a very positive way. It will change a mood, evoke a memory, make a long drive more bearable… I had a long haul to Ottawa and back earlier this week, for example. When I hit Roger Stevens and realized I still had at least another hour before I made it home I sighed like a sissy, having already spent close to 3 hours in the car. Then the best driving song in human history shuffled onto my iPod and there was no where I’d have rather been than behind the wheel of the HMS Pye.

Dessert: Which instrument is your favorite to listen to?
Bagpipes, and there’s nee a wee debate needed there, laddie. My maternal Grandfather, Jimmy Smith, was from Wishaw and I first heard the lovely sound growing up when I’d go to visit him. The pipes are very, very difficult to learn to play and are almost primative in form and function – but there are fewer more beautiful sonic events on planet Earth. I will miss being in Boston this Monday, where I would have undoubtedly been standing in The Field when the Police Pipers come in as I have been on St. Paddy’s past. By the end of their set there’s narry a dry eye in the house.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSrIEPC0Eqw&feature=related[/youtube]

I think that’s why I’ve always loved Big Country so much. Long before he hung himself in a Hawaii hotel room, Stuart Adamson could make his guitar sound like a set of bagpipes wailing away on a moor somewhere. Like a banshee predicting his sad end, perhaps. The clip I’ve included above is a great example of his extremely unique Scottish style. Listen to just the first 33 seconds to see what I mean, if you so desire. Actually, forget the banshee. The red bandana tied around his neck is probably better foreshadowing.

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Manotick Tock and More Puppy Schlock


in Animalistic

A business meeting in Ottawa yesterday brought me within 5 miles of Manotick – the town in which I spent the first 10 years of my life. I decided to take a detour and drive on through to check out how the town has changed, visit my old subdivision, etc. I hadn’t been back in about 20 years, so it was quite a mind-blowing experience and I took pictures and captioned them if anyone would like to peek into my past: Manotick Photos. The damnedest thing I saw had to be that the old jungle gym I used to play on in the park across from my house was still there. It’s a rickety old metal thing which predated our arrival to Island View Drive in 1974 – and not something that was anchored in any way which is why I was so shocked. If nothing else you’ll get an idea of the ridiculous amount of snow the winter of 2007/2008 has dumped on us.

pippens
“The power of Christ compels you.”

On to the weasels: Shepherd and Rhubarb are growing and learning fast, and they’ve fit in well amongst the cats and craziness. Their Grandparents, Gord and Bonnie, adore them and Mom keeps an eye on them during the day while Janet and I are hiding away in our rooms working. Janet is a very early riser so she takes the pups out when they start to squirm around 7am, I walk them down to the end of our road around lunchtime and then Janet likes to have them in the kitchen with her if she’s cooking dinner. Then it’s my turn again at night, and they’re usually chilling on the couch with me with the occasional trip outside until they hit their respective crates about 11pm. Rhuby is in Janet’s room and Shep is in mine. We’re a week into sleeping them in separate crates and rooms, and it’s been an easier adjustment than we expected. Here is a big batch of new pics: Puppy Photos.

And finally I’ve added some photos of our house and the surrounding area. You’ll shriek in horror as you see my driveway become a skating rink. There’s also a friendly snowman, a bearded neighbor and several other shots of the winter wonderland I’ve been living in up here. Enjoy: Portland Photos. All the pictures have individual captions written for them like I used to do in the old days, so don’t just glance at the thumbnails. I’m trying to make you giggle, here.

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Friday’s Quizzlet: Grunters and Collectors


in Friday's Quizzlet

Appetizer: If you could be any current celebrity for one week, who would you be?
Rachel Weisz‘s husband isn’t really a celebrity, but if he were – that would be my answer. Because I’d cherish a week’s worth of long conversations about my feelings with her. From behind.

Soup: On a scale of 1-10, how much do you enjoy talking on the phone?
We’re looking at about a 2. I am a very social person, and I could sell ice to Eskimos, but if I don’t absolutely have to be on the phone – I’m not. I hate long voice mail messages – “Hi, this is Steve and I’ve just called you as you could have probably just seen by looking at your caller ID. Anyway, so I’m calling you and you can call me back if you want. Or don’t – maybe you’re busy or sleeping or something. Anyway…” Kill yourself. Nor do I like calling someone, getting their voice mail and then having to listen to the same sort of blather – “Hi, you’ve reached Steve at 555-4455, which you might already know because you just dialed it, and I’m not here to take your call right now. Look, I’m sorry I missed your call because talking incessantly on the phone like a 14 year-old girl is what I live for. Please leave your name, number and a short message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I’m done recording my voice mail message that you listen to before you leave yours and which I change hourly.” YOU leave a short message, frigtard. And kill yourself. I changed it a year ago for business reasons, but I still pat myself on the back for coming up with the greatest voice mail message in human history. It went: “Thank you for calling Dave. If you don’t know what to do when you hear the beep you probably shouldn’t be using a telephone.” Feel free to use that. Please.

Salad: Name a charitable organization to which you have donated.
I used to donate to the Boston Humane Society every year. The address stickers they’d send me adorned with puppies and kittens were just a bonus. I’ll find a similar animal charity to get involved with up here, although I might just start my own at the rate my own squirmy wormies are ravaging my wallet. Janet made a comment this morning about how cute their little grunts are, and we always talk about how they are incapable of not picking up any loose item they come across, be it a stone, piece of paper, human toe, etc. I then announced with an unnaturally straight face that if the puppies ever started a band, it would be called Grunters and Collectors. Come on, that’s funny.

Main Course: What’s a food you like so much you could eat it every day for a month?
A month? Come on, let’s make this interesting. I could eat feta cheese every day for… a life. And incidentally I do. Was there a Greek shepherd 600 years ago who sat milking a goat on a hillside in Crete, chuckling to himself about the addiction he was about to unleash? I liken it to the early settlers bringing whiskey to the Native Americans. Maybe I’ll start a goat cheese support group. “Hi, my name is Dave and I’m a fetaholic.” “Hi Dave.” “It all started when my father first took me to Molivos in Montreal circa 1984…”

Dessert: Have you or anyone in your family had the flu this year?
We’ve been a little busy with the cancer and the Alzheimer’s, thank you very much. Was I whining there? It’s better than self-mutilation with a snowblower – which was the alternative. Remember, what you’re reading is an “outlet”. On the issue of health – I bought a ridiculously powerful and expensive juicer last week and have been atomizing carrots, apples and oranges at a dizzying pace ever since. The intake is wide enough to take in a whole apple at a time and the motor sounds like a Harrier Jump Jet. I am getting my mother and father onto the regime as well in the hopes it will aid in their various maladies. I predict I’ll be crazier than Jay Kordich on bathtub amphetamines within a month.

Let’s get our little community back, kids. Answer these questions yourselves in the comments.

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