Pop Culture Blog: Music, Movie and Humor
Leveraging low-hanging synergies outside the vertical fruit box since 1999.
I love the Happy Mondays. I take crap for it sometimes (Nate) but I friggin’ love them, man. The news feed on my Squidoo lens is firing up reports that they’ve secretly been recording an album all summer. With Sean’s new exposure thanks to the Gorillaz, and Bez’s media-darling status since winning Celebrity Big Brother last year, these pill-popping punks are poised for a comeback. Which will suck. But a boy can dare to dream, can’t he? Let me sleep a little longer.
It’s also imperative on this Friday afternoon that you comprehensively review the 10 Best Will Ferrell Skits of all time. Why? Because I am this close to raping you.
Appetizer: Name an actor or actress you think is totally underappreciated.
John Dunsworth who plays Mr. Lahey on Trailer Park Boys is an exceptional actor. In addition to the best drunk impersonation I’ve seen since Foster Brooks, some of the show’s most touching moments have focused on his multi-layered, tragic character. He’s been acting on the Canadian scene since 1987, and worked as a granite hauler, casting agent and cab driver prior. Now, he spends most of his time playing bridge, sailing and making shit analogies.
Soup: Impress us by using a big word in a sentence.
Quizzlet, I don’t think you fully realize the potential consequences of erudite vernacular when utilized irrespective of necessity. Now frig off.
Salad: What is something inanimate that you’ve given a name to (i.e pet rock)?
I have little names for everything, and a lot of fun completely bastardizing the English language. My big thing these days is to tag ‘let’ on to things that are small, cute or silly. My sister and I call eachother ‘tardlets’. My friend’s daughter is ‘Grifflet’. I made up a word and an associated site for silly euphamisms called Friglets. It’s a sad statelet of affairs.
Main Course: What color would best represent your personality and why?
Cobalt blue is my favorite color. It represents my personality because it is calm, strong and completely non-commital. Am I cobalt? Am I blue? Will I die alone?
Dessert: Fill in the blanks: ______ is so _______.
Hansel is so hot right now. Admit it. It’s the first thing you thought of too.
“For the past eight years, I haven’t been able to get the character of Max Fischer out of my head. My favorite film is Wes Anderson’s Rushmore, and it also happens to be the director’s best film, encompassing his pathos, full of quirks and details, and soaring on a blend of faith, hope, and love. It’s got his best protagonist, the truest story, and the most genuine emotion of all his films.” – Pajiba
I recently watched Rushmore for the first time in a couple of years, and then read the above article today, so I decided to mention it. My point is this – if you think you like movies, and you haven’t seen Rushmore, do yourself a favor. Jesus, come over to my place and I’ll let you borrow the Criterion version. I’m a Max Fisher evangelist today, and you have just been saved.
I envy Max for a number of reasons. He has the courage to follow his dreams, and sticks his neck out in the name of his “art” no matter what the consequences. Unfortunately, his entire universe is about to collapse because he’s just too damn old to remain at Rushmore: a private high school he has been attending for the past six years.
“You guys have it real easy. I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn’t matter. You were born rich and your going to stay rich. But here’s my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can’t buy backbone. Don’t let them forget it. Thank you.” – Herman Blume (Bill Murray)
Max has started, or is a member of, every club or extracurricular activity at the school. With the exception of fencing, however, these are limited to things like stamp-collecting and bee-keeping – not sports. The montage where we see Max chairing all of these various societies, while 60’s mod rock plays in the background, sets a theme for the rest of the movie. Max feels he “belongs” at Rushmore because he can manipulate it’s universe. The real world terrifies Max. “Well that’s OK,” he tells the headmaster when his poor grades are brought up, “I’ll just take a post-grad year.” When the headmaster replies that they don’t offer a post-grad year at Rushmore, Max realizes he is about to be thrown to the wolves.
“Dear Max, I am sorry to say that I have secretly found out that Mr. Blume is having an affair with Miss Cross. My first suspicions came when I saw them Frenching in front of our house. And then I knew for sure when they went skinny dipping in Mr. Blume’s swimming pool, giving each other handjobs while you were taking a nap on the front porch.” – Dirk Calloway
It’s no accident this movie has developed a massive cult following. Wes Anderson has created a group of characters so complex and addictively interesting that you can’t help getting caught up in their dilemmas. There’s Magnus, the bullying one-eared Scotsman who admires Max as much as he abuses him. Mr. Blume, the apathetic millionaire who would rather spend time with a 15-yr-old than his horrifically unsympathetic family. Rosemary, the grieving widow who becomes caught in a perceived love-triangle between Max and Blume – Even the bit players in this movie (Margaret Yang, Max’s father, Dirk) will keep your attention and force you to empathize with their various situations.
Rushmore is in good company on my list of favorite movies. Goodfellas, Blade Runner, Raiders of the Lost Ark – do you see what I’m getting at here? It’s a monumental piece of filmmaking, and you have got to see it as close to immediately as you can get. You’ll thank me.
“Sic transit gloria. Glory fades. I’m Max Fischer“.
Some quick endorsements: >> Only one apartment left to fill. If you have anyone in mind, forward the link. It’s a great pad. >> Aubs is selling 2 tickets to a reggae concert at the BOA pavilion on August 19th. Email me if you’re interested. I’m sure as hell not, ya lazy bloodclot. The closest I get to reggae is one particular ska song which is on my all time top 10 favorites list – Ghost Town by the Specials. And the theme song for Cops which I watch so frequently I can also probably be considered a little special.
It’s only fitting that I write something about the intense heat today, as it’s forecast to go up to a near record-breaking 100+ degrees on this fine Wednesday. The heat is on, little babies. And Boston is like an egg that’s been cracked on a griddle. Which has then been placed on the surface of the sun. I assume by a rather bored division of NASA, but I’m not really sure how this analogy ends. Let’s just end it.
The heat is taxing. Draining. I ran up and down the floors of my building 7 times yesterday, showing potential tenants the open apartments and roofdeck. When I crawled into bed to watch Saxondale last night, I quickly fell into the deepest sleep I’ve had in a long time. And it was murder getting up this morning. I still feel like I ran the Boston Marathon yesterday, and maybe even crapped down my leg like that woman from a few years back. Nah, I had white pants on and would have noticed.
Stay cool, people. Drink lots of fluids and lay off dairy. Huddle under AC units, even if they give you dry eyes or sore throats and remember the immortal words of Walter Winchell – “It’s a sure sign of summer if the chair gets up when you do.”